As this day winds down I find myself reflecting back on how I have been affected by the events of September 11th, 2001. How my everyday life has changed. On how my world, and the way in which I navigate it, has been altered. I went back and forth in my head contemplating these questions and I arrive at only one reasonable and rational response; it hasn't.
I have the fortunate pleasure of knowing no one that was in, outside of, or near the World Trade Center site the morning those buildings collapsed. There are no relatives or members of my family that served or died in New York City that day. I have no connection or ties to any of the parties responsible for carrying out those atrocities. I have friends and relatives who serve(d) in the armed forces both in Iraq and Afghanistan but all are currently safe or have returned home alive. I watched the events unfold, untouched and unharmed, from 400+ miles away.
Because of this I try to find some part of me that can be sentimental about the whole experience. I do my best to show remorse because I truly do feel for the people directly affected by those events. I don't need to remind myself to not forget because, really, how the fuck could I? If you did, or are capable of forgetting, you must have been blackout drunk for four months to not remember the scenes that were replayed on a repetitive real for a third of a year.
But as far as feeling a sense of loss or personal pain, I guess I'm incapable. Has my life changed? In all honesty, the motions of my day to day living have not. I work in the same manner, perhaps even a bit harder. Not because of some new found reverence for life and American patriotism, but because I'm ten years older and loaded down with the burdens of a dream. Not to mention that I'm now the father of a six year old child who demands more of me than I sometimes am capable of giving. I still work, pay taxes (sometimes), shop for the same foods, and demand the same rights and luxuries as before. Perhaps even more.
Really, any domestic changes have been slight given the full magnitude of the event. I now have to take my shoes off at the airport. I've lost six ounces of carry-on liquid. I have to use a passport to visit our sketch comedy loving friends to the north. I pay more at the pump.
Aside from incremental inconveniences, for those like myself, life appears to be the same. Have we as a country become more isolationist, closing off our boarders and reducing foreign imports, increasing domestic productions, in an effort to be more self-reliant and less dependant on a world we seem sure is hell-bent on destroying our rights? No. Not all. Are we working to become a fitter, faster, and smarter nation in preparation for a rapidly approaching war with enemies that surely want to annihilate the very fabric of freedom we cherish so much? No. In fact, we're getting fatter and dumber. Well surely we must be doing more to understand our enemies, and in turn make our interests and agendas better known to them through civil dialogue and exchange in an effort to keep our potential foes closer than our friends. No. We've just ratcheted up stereotypes and fear mongering in an effort to keep initiative moral up.
My point is, life has not changed for a great number of us. I guess I'm tired of hearing that it has, because honestly, we could have used a little change in this country. We could have used some isolation and introspection. We could have used victory gardens. We could have used scrap metal recycling initiatives and manufacturing bonds. We could have used power conservation and alternative fuel programs. We could have used diet and exercise regiments designed to prepare a populace for a potential conflict on our doorstep. Unfortunately we didn't get that. Why? Cause we want it all. And we insist on convenience in every aspect of our life, and sadly for soldiers and their families that includes our wars.
If you want to ask someone how their life continues to be affected ten years after 9/11, get on a plane and leave this country. It's the rest of the world that's still paying the price.
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